Control.

I’d forgotten how it feels.
The ache when I stop at an orgasmic edge.
The mocking throb beckoning for me to touch again.
The excuses I whisper to myself.
“A little more, just to be sure”
I tell myself it’s to make sure I’m close enough.
I pretend I'm trying to be a good girl.
But deep down I know it’s my greedy desire.
I want more of that feeling, more of that pleasure.
I want to cum, I want that release.
But instead I fight.
the curling of my toes, the hint of rage, the gnawing frustration: my bodies siren song.
I reject the lies of my longing.
I glimpse my wanton heart and I struggle to keep control.
My private battle, an extension of his will.
I become his.
Every time I stop.
I listen to the beating of my heart and the throbbing of my cunt.
I listen to my quiet desperation.
I wait for my wanting to subside.
And in those moments I submit.
Ignoring my needy cunt and being his good girl.
His control becoming my control.
Wrenching me away from ecstasy.
Because every time I stop.
I become his.
Every time I tease and torment and deny myself.
And when he lets me cum, if he lets me cum.
It will feel better than any enjoyed in selfish pursuit.
Because it is his.
His to control.