Fuck I'm horny.

Fuck I’m horny.
I suppose that’s the point of this whole orgasm control lark.
But today, that combined with a peak in my sex drive means I am only a smidgen of self control away from humping the furniture, or so it seems.
In fact I should give myself credit, I have a lot of self control.
Otherwise I’d be cumming now and probably for the rest of the day, until my knees locked up and I’d worn a friction mark into my cunt.
Well it wouldn’t be the first time, would it.
Fuck I’m horny.
Hanging on the precipice of a full on strop.
I feel the tears and frustration behind my eyes.
I feel the indignation in me, that it’s just not fair, and I can feel the desire to stamp my feet and shout building.
I find myself wishing that 20 guy cream pies were safe, I blame the porn.
I find myself wishing I could go and get fucked.
I almost considered asking if I could just find a cock to suck, if it was a vanilla cock, surely that would be ok, wouldn’t it, that would be allowed?
Fuck I’m horny.
I begged to touch, but now I am almost wishing I never had to touch again.
At the same time as wanting to touch more.
I said I wouldn’t beg today, but I did.
I figured it was going to happen sooner or later, so why not today when today it would feel so fucking nice.
And it did, and I was there at the edge, so quick I almost didn’t have time to enjoy the journey.
And I used some pain to ruin it, which I have never had to do before.
I lay there feeling my cunt convulse without me touching myself at all.
Fuck I’m horny.
You’d think that would have taken the edge of my desire, yet it seems to be even worse than before.
This isn’t fair, there I said it, and feel slightly juvenile and silly because I actually want to cry.
But I won’t.
Even as I wrote that tears began to prick my eyes.
But I won’t.
I want to scream too, Hmph!
It’s so annoying that it’s so inevitable that in a little while I’ll be begging again.
Wanting to touch.
I said earlier that I didn’t want to cum, and in a way I don’t, I enjoy the idea of long term denial.
But when I am on the edge, and now, now I want to cum over and over and over and over and over.
Even though if I did I would be disappointed at my weakness.
Fuck I’m horny.
I feel it to the very ends of my toes, to the tips of my fingers.
In my throbbing cunt.
I hate this.
As much as I love this.
And it’s so fucking unfair.
I am not even sure why it’s unfair.
It just feels it.
Aching to fuck,
Aching to suck,
Aching to touch,
Aching, just fucking aching.
Fuck I’m horny.